Counting Down

4 weeks. Less than. On Sunday I finished my souvenir shopping and have just finished packing my first piece of luggage. I think I will be able to do it in two checked pieces and a carry on. I shooting to not even have to mail anything home. So, as much as I try... I am a collector... of junk. It's in my blood, it comes from my mother (love you mom ;). It seems to me that the desire to collect has intensified since I started traveling. In a way this makes sense, I should have cooler junk to collect, yes? But no. I want to hang onto the fanny pack type purse I have had since Micronesia... you know, the one that I had crackers in and so a rat ate through it in the night and ate the crackers. And then I sewed it only I sewed it wrong and couldn't zip it. Then I got it zipped and just couldn't use that compartment... then some dip decided to open it and now it won't close again so I use a key clip to keep it from flapping open and instead it just gapes open. I can't carry it in public in the western world without getting strange looks. So tell me... WHY? Why do I feel it is important to hang onto this? It went through Micronesia with me and now it hangs on my chair, the next place it will again just hang. If I am embarrassed to carry it, then it has no practical use... and it sure isn't attractive to look at just hanging there. Oh I know, its a holder. It holds my darts and my American change. Ok, now I can keep it, found a use for it. While I do collect junk, it is usually junk that was once useful. At least I don't do the knick knacky things. For example, the souvenirs I bought... I love that I can give them to my friends and if I ever feel the need to look at them and feel all nostalgic I can just go visit them. I don't need the junk cluttering up my place. I have plenty of ratty bags, flashlights, bead jewelry, pictures and journal type junk to clutter me. I really want to be free, lol. I wish I could go from here to there with one big backpack and that's it. Ahhh, life.

So, I am really really counting down. I know how many times I have left to teach of my classes. I have a list and x it out after each one. Makes the time go excruciatingly slow... I don't recommend it. But anyway, I'm so excited I can hardly stand it. I was thinking I wasn't this excited after Peace Corps and wondering why this is. I think some of it has to do with being so stationary here and really feeling like I have a job. PC was 24/7 and it felt it, but it didn't feel like a job in the western sense, it just felt like life. Now I am working in the western sense and so I am looking forward to vacation. This is part of it. But I think the other part... the bigger part is that the city wears on me. On Pollap I had all the country I could ever want on the unpopulated half of the island. I could go off and sit in the open and contemplate life. There is no place to do that here unless it is inside my apartment. No solitude. I wonder if all that space will freak me out. I wonder if the stars are as amazing as I remember them. It weirds me out to think I lived by the cycles of the moon for a time. The phase of the moon determined where I could go to the bathroom in the night, what time of day I could go spear fishing, and whether or not I could sneak around undetected in the night or not. Now I rarely even see the moon. It's blotted out by neon... man, whoever invented neon should thank Korea. I just can't wait to see the openness. To walk in the country. I can't wait to see squirrels. I was noticing today that the parks here are very well set up for squirrels...but... there aren't any. One thing traveling has made me realize, well, I always knew but being away so much really drives it home, and that is that I love where I grew up and I love being able to go back there. I know one day it may not be there for me, but while it is I don't take it for granted. Home home. 4 weeks, countdown with me, eh? See you all soon!