Summing Up - Part 1

We made it home after a long 30ish hour drive. It wasn't very exciting; other than the other-worldly feeling one often gets from lack of sleep. Home hasn't been the whirlwind it usually is; partly because I don't feel desperate to hook up with people I saw just a mere 3 months ago, and partly because I haven't really told that many people I am home. So... I am home :)
I've been grappling with what I learned on this trip, ya know? Like, what did I take away from it? And it's strange because I have a very difficult time thinking of it as one long trip. Due to the number of people I visited I feel more like I took many mini-trips and took something from each person I hung out with. But then I think, what is the big meaning of it all? I know I went out searching for something... looking for, as my dear friend in Chicago reminded me, something that compelled me. Something to inspire me on my next great adventure. Some days I feel like what I found was a close to broke state and all I feel compelled to do is go back to Korea and teach and make big money fast.
So, maybe I should recap... my first stop in Chicago I already talked about. I was reminded that I don't have to have my whole life all planned out, I can go with my gut and change as often as I want. This is ok. Contrary to popular belief, this is something I struggle with often. I so often fight the pressure to settle down and settle in and live "normally". And long ago I accepted "normal" and those who choose to live "the American Dream" so to speak. However, I know it is not for me. It stifles me and makes me depressed. However again, I fight the urge to please those who find my "instability", so the speak, instable :) So, Chicago reminded me that I am ok.
Indiana reminded me that I dearly love my grandma and need to consistently make more time in my life to spend with her. (I should email her now that I think of it, what a shit I am!) She is an insightful woman who I can learn a lot from. (This theme recurs throughout the trip).
Detroit reminded me that people can find happiness. Without me even :)
Buffalo...umm, I'm not sure. Don't drive in snowstorms? No, actually what I got out of Buffalo is for me and Buffalo... Molls, if you read this; call me, let's talk.
Long Island, ha. I learned a person can go to law school AND party like a rock star at the same time... or maybe not. We will see shortly. I was also reminded that friendships change. No matter how people say they won't, or try to remain static, people and relationships just change.
Boston reminded me that I loved the Peace Corps and all the Chuuksters, no matter how shady ;) and that as my first fellow travelers; I will always feel a special bond with them. Maine, where I didn't see anyone I know, reminded me that the world is not an over-populated mess; at least not in the winter time in northern US.
Baltimore taught me that some people are just meant to party and are good at it and that's cool :) You go girl!
The drive to Tennessee was beautiful and I slept in a rest stop all alone and I didn't think I would sleep but I did and I danced a jig when I woke up because I did it and woke in one piece! It was very freeing. (I can imagine all the people gasping right now, lol, don't worry, I slept with a knife ;) Tennessee was messed up and I still don't know where I am at with it. I drove around Clarksville thinking about how I almost lived there. I had even given notice at my job in Korea last May and was planning to just... I don't know. Move to Clarksville and live with this guy who drove me crazy when he was around, let alone when he wasn't. Tennessee was supposed to be a nice and tidy closure but it wasn't and still isn't. My surprise there, I guess, is that even when I think I have everything wrapped up into a neat little package... surprise! My emotions don't always match my brain. And let me tell you, it pisses me off, lol. Possibly more to come on this.
Atlanta. My aunt and uncle are awesome and I am so glad I got to know them better. More people I could learn a lot from. I spent my longest period of time in Atlanta and it was great. I felt sad to leave after two weeks. It was easy to entertain the thought of just living there; settling down and settling in. Maybe because they are so not settled in or down, lol. They RV a lot. And travel a lot by other means as well. I enjoyed the pictures and stories and developed wonderful ideas for my future travels. Jody joined me in Atlanta, and Sara visited. I love that Sara is my oldest friend and that we have been to the west coast, the east coast, and now the south together. I love her! And we rock! I love my brother too, but wow, what better way to remind oneself of the pain in the ass of siblings than to travel half the country together ;) No, seriously, traveling with him was interesting. There were pros and cons, as there are when ever you travel with someone else. Concessions to make that you wouldn't have to make if you were alone. That's the worst of it I think. The pros of course, are having a companion, someone to share things with, not to mention the benefit of a driver AND a navigator. Being both driver and navigator is a big ol' pain in the butt! I have to applaud us both on our patience and politeness and our ability to spend a month and a half together in a car and come away still friends. We also rock. I think we made each other crazy often, but we did a great job not freaking out about it and just being chill. In retrospect, heck, it's quite extraordinary really. I feel like the trip affected and maybe even changed him in little ways. It seems like he is braver in the world at large. And I hope this is so, because I suspect he has desires to see more of the world, as I once did; but that he has been shy to try things. I hope he is able to take more risks now and go where his heart leads him.
Ok, Florida we saw a mass of people and it was way cooler than I thought it would be. I was reminded not to base my opinions on stereotypes because I really thought Florida would suck, but it didn't. It quite possibly was the friendliest state we were in. I briefly met some of Jo's friends and again... some people are meant to party (Ft. Lauderdale area). Tarpon Springs was great and our first glimpse of wild animals which was something we both were itching for the whole trip. We'd see moose signs or elk signs and get crabby knowing we wouldn't see any, lol. I was frustrated with the ocean in Florida. We did go into the water and play; as kids Jo and I were always swimming at Glen Hills long before anyone else would brave the frigid water, but I came to know the ocean in Micronesia where everything is free and clean. On Pollap I could walk ten steps, be in the ocean, throw on my snorkel mask and see wondrous things without even moving. Thus the frustration here. Maybe there are places like that here in the US, places the local people go maybe. I don't know. It reinforced the uniqueness of my Pollap experience and made me yearn for the oceans of there.
Louisana reminded me that sometimes its good to have a hardy plan and that I can still spin a lovely tall tale :) I was also struck by the still aftermath of Katrina and how we forget about others' hardships so easily when it isn't on the news. It's sad.
We blasted through Texas and ... well, most of the rest of the trip was a blast through. I want and almost feel a need to spend more time in the west. When I headed out on this trip I hoped to slow its speed in the west and hang out. Instead it seemed totally opposite. I want to hang out with my peeps in the west, I miss them and hope to spend more valuable time with them soon. Impressions? New Mexico and Arizona have power to suck a person in and slow down time. I loved it. I also hung with a high school friend in Arizona. A friend who, throughout time, has tried to get me to pack up and go off with him on travels; so that was interesting. California is still the coast I love most :) It's beautiful. And I love my west coast pals and had a great time visiting with them but want to spend more time. I even missed one of them in the rush to get home. This is getting long; and I do have ideas on the grand scheme. But my folks are home now and we are having lasagna and beers together today. Then it is back to the world of dial up at my other folks'... but I will try to finish this soon. Maybe this weekend. Funny, I sped through the west again, lol. Until next time...