The World Is My Playground

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

What Next?

My rampant indecision about my life's path makes me crazy. Every few weeks I have some new idea of where I want to be and what I want to do. The room-mate points it out each time I have a new endeavor in mind. He says "This summer alone you have decided to move to Hawaii, move back home, and move back to Sedona; I am certain that after your upcoming trip to San Diego you will decide to move there next." I did go to San Diego. And I did daydream of a life in that city living on the coast, strolling the boardwalk by night, the beach by day... but I did not return 'wanting' to move there... thankfully. I read the writings from my pals in Korea and think 'hey, why not head back there?' I check out what's happening with family members I developed on Pollap and definately think I should be there again, lol. I chill in Sedona for a weekend and decide to go live off the desert as a hippy after I finish grad school... that makes a ton of sense, doesn't it? I go back to school and decide I'm going to get my PhD next but first I'm going to get grant money and develop some much needed services in this city. Then I talk to a friend trying to get into the foreign service and I check that out online and it is definately for me. A high school friend came to visit and she's a nurse so now I have university catalogs coming in the mail from schools that offer a BSN as a second undergrad degree. This is for the benefit of all of you out there who think I am NOT crazy. See, I am! All I really really want to do is live in this moment now. I want to be ABLE to do that. Why have I been planning what's next since the end of last school year? I want to be in the now and I want to be open to the opportunities that come my way when I finish school and choose from them AT THAT TIME! Lol. Please.

2 Comments:

At 1:49 AM, Blogger Vern said...

"all of you out there who think I am NOT crazy". Are you saying for real that there are people that believe this? Doesn't delusional = crazy? ;)

 
At 9:45 AM, Blogger Melissa said...

Am I delusional as well as crazy? Please please burst my delusional bubble!! What are my delusions?!?!

 

Post a Comment

<< Home