Dreams & More Random Thoughts

I'm sitting in what I can not help but think of as a PC Bong; the woman behind the counter is even Korean, lol. So I never used Internet Cafes (as I believe we call them here) much until I went to Korea and in Korea they are PC Bongs. So I am in a PC Bong in TN. The problem I am running into is that when I am visiting friends and fam with a computer I do not particularly want to sit and blog; I want to visit. So then when I am on my own and want to blog I have no access to a computer. So I journal and life is good :)

I have had two weird dreams in the last week or so. They seem to come at proper times. In the first I was in my home in WI and I had a baby with me, I think one of my friends' children. There was a tornado and I took the baby into the basement and was shielding her. Nothing happened so we were called back upstairs and that was when the tornado hit. It shook the house and we could all hear things rattling and then the house started to spin (like Wizard of Oz) and then it just stopped. One wall was gone and it seemed the house had landed on a cliff and the open wall was over-looking a land of destruction with tornadoes whirling about off in the distance. People starting running out of the wall and falling off the cliff so I was screaming for them to stop and still holding the baby when someone bumped me out the side. I reached for a scrap of ... house? Of something and held on. The scrap started to tear but slowly and ended up letting me and the baby down to the ground with only a slight jarring. The baby's mother came and I remember feeling relieved; but then everyone was saying that the baby wasn't breathing. I was pissed, and grabbed the baby and delivered baby CPR and she came around and was fine.
The other one I had last night. Me and some people were diving. We were trying to find something for these other people. Jackson was in it and a long ago friend from college who I am not even in touch with anymore. Anyway, while we were diving Jackson got his foot cut off (sorry dude) and I had to bring him to the surface. He got out and I had to go back down and everyone was running out of air and it became apparent that our equipment had been tampered with. We all came back up and when we came up it was like these indoor docks and we walked from these straight into house. The people we were working for told us we were locked in the house and they split us all up. The house was haunted but we were all like "Scooby-Doo" and didn't believe it and were trying to find the tricks. It was so bizarre. In one room the covers moved and writhed as if someone was under them. And my friend grabbed them and said "there are wires in the blankets" and I (again) felt relieved only to find myself in horror as she started to rip the covers away from the bed and it became obvious something was pulling them from her. Then my friend disappeared and I woke up. Ok... any dream analysts out there?

Maine was very fine. And although I don't know every setting of King's books, I could envision many of them happening in the places I passed and even where I stayed. The Shining was especially vivid to me. Maybe due to the movie. Many places were boarded up for the winter and kind of abandoned looking. Whole cities along the coast sometimes felt long dead. I stayed the night at a lodge and visited a pub. I left a "Charlie's Bar" pen from Clayton in there :) Anyway, there were a couple of people in there and they left shortly after I arrived so I had a chance to visit with the bartender. She was closing up at 8:30 and said that was pretty common on the weekdays. She was very friendly and chatted about her life in Maine, her family and her wish to travel more (seems a recurring theme, once ppl hear I am just toodling around). Maine reminded me a lot of WI with its forests and small towns. But parts also reminded me of Korea, the kind of hilly/mountainous parts of Korea that are not populated. And of course I drove along the coast mostly, so that didn't really remind me of anything :) My ocean experience is so wrapped up in Chuuk and Pollap that I have a hard time believing any ocean in cold weather is really the ocean. I still loved it. I love water. All of it I have decided. Water and this trip would be a blog of itself.... so.
Again, I know I am not doing justice here, but I hope that by jotting some things down I can come back sometime and do a better job.
So, when I left Maine was when my scratch off ticket obsession started. I have been getting scratch offs for my friend Chris since I left. But leaving Maine was when I started going out of my way to get them because I went across and into Vermont just to get a scratch off. Lol. Also because I had time, but mostly to get a dang scratch off from Vermont. This trend has not ended. I have done this same thing for 3 other states- Rhode Island, West Virginia, and North Carolina... so I hope these states are big winners :) Its fun anyway.
After Maine, I stayed another night in Boston and then headed out in that northeastern storm ya'all maybe heard about. Did I mention Jackson is an awesome host? He is/was and we had such a lovely visit. Felt as if no time had passed at all. I love that phenomena. I barely stayed a night in Baltimore with another PC pal. I arrived quite late and she had to hit the road quite early and timing wasn't really great. But overall, I think we did quite well with the time afforded to us. I was late due to weather. Strange thing in the New England area... radio stations. There are so many and you can get stations from all these different cities. The traffic and weather reports made me crazy because I would be driving along, listening, and crying out "what city?? where is xxxfreeway backed up to xxxroad??? where is that freeway shut down??? where is the snow letting up??? Just PLEASE tell me from what city you are reporting!!!" Eventually the stations usually says, but never during an actual weather or traffic report.
After my second horrendous drive through bad weather, and after the effects of mostly feeling like all of the east coast is one big city, I was thrilled to see cows in Virginia. I took a couple days off the freeways in Virginia (with side trips to West Virginia and North Carolina for the almighty scratch offs) and made my way to Tennessee to visit another friend I met in Korea. That pretty much brings me up to date. There's more of course, but its getting late and while this has all the feel of a Korean PC Bong, the prices are much much different :)

One thing I have found quite interesting... every time I leave a place and hit the road again I feel so excited. I laugh at it every time. I love this feeling. Here in TN I met two women truck drivers. They were so fun to chat with. Very cool. I love all the different accents I hear everywhere too. Felt like the east coast accent so abruptly gave way to the southern one, it was kind of disconcerting.

I am on my way today towards Atlanta to visit my aunt. I can already feel the bubble of excitement the road brings. Oh, and the best thing? It is like, really warming up. Today is the first time on this trip that I have felt warm. It is in the high 40's here. When I left WI it was 30's, so as I have been travelling and hitting the weather and all that I keep telling myself "it's worse at home". The last couple of days may have been 30's here, but it was colder at home. Still, I am happier the higher above freezing it gets... so whoppeeee!
Love to All.

Catching Up

I have actually been keeping a written journal on this trip, so that makes me feel less bad about how little I have been blogging. It turns out it is not so easy during my visits to get to a computer and sit and actually collect my thoughts. So... I think I left off in Indiana with my Grandma. Which consequently may have inspired to try to write a book where a woman (who would that be?) is taking some kind of important trip and stops by her grandmother's home first. As she road trips she contemplates the stories told by her grandmother while her own life is unfolding. A story within a story, I bet no one has ever done that :) Completely not based on real events or people of course. I remember that since the age of 12 I have loved my grandma's stories. I also recalled, once I started journaling, how quickly the details get lost in my jumbled mind. I have needed that tape recorder I left back home a couple of times now...
From my grandma's I went to the burbs of Detroit and visited a friend there. It was short and sweet and I found her pleasantly more happy than I have ever known her to be. This makes me happy. Then the real fun started as I headed out of Detroit and into Canada. My friend said, "Beware of lake effect weather" as I left and I thought, "yeah, yeah". Of course at first there were only flurries and shortly upon crossing into Canada I decided to get off the freeway to see the country side. Ha, right. I couldn't see a thing and even if I could I really needed to keep my eyes on the road. So I turned back after about 10 grueling miles that felt like 40. Back on the freeway things were fine and I continued on. As I crossed back into the US on the Rainbow Bridge I was able to see through the snow enough to glimpse the Niagra Falls. It was rather surreal with all the snow and the blowing and the falls and I had my windows down and I could hear them. It was just cool. Back in the US, in New York, it was awful. It was blowing, no one could see, everyone was driving slow. And of course I was lost. The snow was so messed up that one side of all road signs was covered, typically the side I needed to see. Anyway, a 5 hour drive took me 8 and I was much ready for the offered glass of wine when I finally found my way. I spent a couple of nights and the superbowl with my friend and her husband and baby. We went to her family's for the superbowl and her family is just so kind, and real. It was nice, I really felt like I could identify with them. Because it was so cold, blustery and typically evil out it was a very mellow couple of days (I see this region now has like 90" of snow, wow, good thing I got out when I did). It did snow the whole time I was there but was clear and sunny the day I left although like 15 below zero.
So far I have not hit any more weather, but I might start pushing my luck in the next couple of days. I went from the Buffalo area to Long Island where my friend from Korea lives, and I made it without incident. I stayed 5 nights. We ate good food, drank good beer, had good conversation, hung out in the city like 4 of those 5 nights. It was freezing, but it was good. The city did not intimidate as much as I had expected to. Neither did the lifestyle. I feel like I would need to make some readjustgments in order to live there, but overall I think maybe Korea cured me of my city fears. I think about this and have to wonder if that could be dangerous. Afterall, Korea may be one big city, but it was one big city without much crime. Over and over on this trip I would love to be doing it in the spring. Not only for the city, but also the drive to NYC. I found New York state and Pennsylvania surprisingly and pleasantly beautiful. I am still having a great time but my mantra has become "south south, I gotta go south". I was also, during my stay on Long Island, inspired to consider the law school thing again. My friend is going to Hofstra and lives on the campus there so I had 5 days and nights of law school atmosphere. There's a lot more to say about this stop, well, about all my stops, but as this is a "catch up" I will stick with the basics for now and go back as time and relevance dictate. Ok, so now I am in Boston with my friend Jackson from Peace Corps (see previous blog comments). I wasn't sure this stop would happen but here I am. I'm enjoying the randomness of my stops as this is the second time I have stopped someplace planning to sleep over and hit the road the next day and found my host pleasantly assuming I would stay longer. Both times this has happened I just pretend that "yeah, I'm staying until then" because I can and I love it. Boston is another city that has always intrigued and I'm not sure why. I think it may be because I had a teacher in high school who knew I wanted to go into law and she was always trying to convince me to apply to Harvard. Which, consequently, Jackson is attending on a part-time basis. Maybe too because it's old. Just intrigued for whatever reason. Ok, so now I am caught up on events...

I'm here with Jackson and we have been rehashing our Peace Corps (PC) lives and I did this with everyone else also and again on Long Island about Korea and its weird. But I think its weirder here because Jackson lived a close experience to mine in that he was on an outer island, and we were in the same state so we saw each other a lot. So when I see others I am often learning about their experience, but here I am just straight up reminiscing and longing. Its fun, but a bit sad also. Ok, I have to end here. There are things I want to say but the words just aren't coming out the way I would like right now. It happens. Besides, Jacko is bugging me to hang out with him (so needy) and I need to hook him up on myspace so he can reconnect with some peeps and also meet my pal in Long Island. I feel I should apologize for the shoddiness of this post so I do apologize and will do better next.

Oh wait, I'm heading to Maine next. My friend Chris gave me $20 and some self addressed stamped envelopes and asked for scratch offs from states I go through. Between Chris and my curiousity about a state that could host a mind such as Stephan King's, I have decided to head to Maine and stay a night or two. Who knows what spooky adventures that little side trip might elicit!

Running Away from Home

When I was 10 years old I was in a laundry mat with a friend and we were leaving. Everyone was out in the car except me and I was on my way out, looked up, and there it was. A night picture of the Chicago skyline. I was awe. Here I was, this little girl in the middle of nowhere living 8 miles outside of a town population under 1,000 (at the time), and I was impressed with this big city picture. I stared at it until someone came to get me. Then I went out and said I had to use the bathroom and went back in. And I don't know why... but on my way out I opened all the running washers so they stopped (little shit) and walked out thinking "I'm going there". It wasn't long after that I started running away. I never made it very far past the end of the fence, but once I ran away from school, and once I did make it from that small town a few miles out the opposite direction of my home. Unbeknownst to me, I was even going the right way. I knew I was heading to Chicago, but I had no clue how to get there. I think most of the time I left my runaway notes in hiding places so I always had time to snatch them back before anyone even knew I was thinking on it. In any case, I never "really" ran away (some people would beg to differ and say I have run away now several times... whatever :). So then, when I was 12ish my mom starting driving us all down to Indiana once a year to visit my grandma. And guess what city that trip took us through? And guess where my mom was most prone to get lost? Chicago. I loved it, but still there was no stopping and maybe it started to lose its appeal. The years went by and finally the year before my senior year of high school the family came home from Indiana and I hopped in my car and drove down there on my own... steak knife in the console and all (thanks mom:). Sometimes I wonder where my travel bug started and I often go back to that trip. The thrill of driving through the night, radio blaring, strangers in gas stations all going someplace, window down... and then getting a job in a new city, meeting new people, realizing I was rather "grown up". Realizing I didn't HAVE to depend on my parents, I had other options, granted, it was a grandma but it was still something to be away alone. I remember the lonliness I felt missing my friends, missing marching band season, the "otherness" I felt being away and upon returning. Strangely, I kind of enjoyed the romance of being "other", of being "alone", of having no one who could experience these 2 lives I had with me. I had close people at home, and close people away... but no one knew, REALLY knew, both lives.
So. I stayed with a friend in Chicago for a night. Of course a night is nothing but it was fun. The city life in the US has always intrigued me (obviously), so it was interesting. I can't explain it and I think its something city people can not really grasp... or maybe they can get it... maybe it is the same thing that drives city people to the country on weekends. The same thing that drives them to the cabins where I live and grew up. I'm intrigued, that's all. I think of cities as nice places to visit, maybe to stay for a spell, but certainly not a place I would want to settle down. Do city peeps feel like that about the country? I don't know. Anyway, it was snowing and we walked to this very attractive cafe with art work on the walls and a tidbit on the menu on how they started in like the 60's I think as a place working towards doing good works in the world. Lol, of course I was like, "yeah, if I lived here I'd come here all the time". Which it sounds like my Chicago friend does. It was all good, I just kind of wish I could have stayed longer...
And, now I am in Indiana at my grandma's and finding this "wanting to stay longer" a recurring theme. I suck because I originally had planned to head out sooner than I did. I procrastinated and had a date in mind but although I did have a time in mind I didn't really tell people because I was afraid I would do what I do which is CHANGE MY MIND!!! So last week I started emailing people like "I'm coming!" And I didn't want to impose on people so I planned short stays and planned times with people based on those short stays and blah blah blah... in any case, I have been to Chicago (go bears) and now I am in Indy (go Colts) and it looks like I will be in New York for the super bowl... how dumb is that? My granny is (awesome) like "stay for our party" and man I want too, but my friend in Detroit took Friday off work... whaddaya gonna do?

So, some more stuff.... before I left I wasn't as excited as I thought I should be. My one night in Chicago really changed that. I was chatting with my Chicago pal and she said some random thing that hit home with me so much that I was like...."OH YES, this is why I am going around the country visiting these incredibly intelligent, intuitive, fun, and loving people". She is awesome, I thank her for her candid and open conversation and her hospitality! But yeah, I am jacked now. I'm loving life (and wine with grandma) and just ready to visit! I found out my best pal in Korea is maybe going to be in NY when I am and another friend who I wasn't sure I'd get to see has worked out some stuff and... well, lots of fun stuff that I will get too later...

Right now, my grandma. For those who don't know, I love my grandma, think I loved her from the day I met her. I am at her house now and man, we just have the best time. We have talked about life stories of family, Christianity, politics, relationships, alternative lifestyles... the gamet; and she is pleasantly as open-minded, loving, and candid as she was 20-something years ago when we became friends. I find myself continuously surprised about the people who genuinely want to know about "over there"; where ever it is I have been. She is one. I remember in Peace Corps they said "no one will care, people won't want to really hear about it" and for the most part, that is true. But randomly people ask and show real interest and listen patiently as you try to describe the indescribableness of living in other countries, other cultures.

I guess the point is... times are good. Conversation is good. Not to say I wasn't loving being home and hashing life out with my best pals there, because I really was. I do have to admit, I was feeling some of that "I don't belong here" but I was also intensely aware, again, that my oldest friends, and of course my fam, know the core of me and love me no matter what. As does my grandma. So... if I am, once again, running away...its been a great trip and will continue to be. Peace out ya'all ;)